Do You Have?
1. Your regular underwear:

thong, baby
men's bikini briefs, purple or pink
is black and lacy
is clean
comes from the thrift store

2. Your ass:

is flat
needs a shave
is a two hand grab
hurts from being spanked
should be kissed
is horny

3. When it comes to anal sex:
If your lover says so
Only on stage
Only for money
Only if there's an enema involved
Only if it's a guy-guy thing
Only if the tongue does some prep work
Yes, yes, yes!

4. Rate your ass from 1 to 10:

10 - perfecto baby
9 - total hot ghetto booty
7 - Pretty hot - especially when I do that whole 80's thong over the workout pants thing
5 - average, I guess. No one ever complements it.
1 - it's a jungle down there

5. Show me your ass:

"No problem, half of West Hollywood has seen it anyway"
"How much will you pay me?"
"Isn't my ass nice?"
"Can you see it through all this hair?"
"Only if you kiss it, bitch!"
"Yes, master"
"The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin' "
"I need a dollar in my g-string first"
"Hold on, it takes me forever to get these pants off."
"Sniff it. It's clean."
"Are you talking to me?"
"Oooh, what are you going to do to it?"