What ASS Do You Have? 1. Your regular underwear: thong, baby g-string men's bikini briefs, purple or pink is black and lacy is clean comes from the thrift store 2. Your ass: is flat needs a shave is a two hand grab hurts from being spanked should be kissed is horny 3. When it comes to anal sex: If your lover says so Only on stage Only for money Only if there's an enema involved Only if it's a guy-guy thing Only if the tongue does some prep work Yes, yes, yes! 4. Rate your ass from 1 to 10: 10 - perfecto baby 9 - total hot ghetto booty 7 - Pretty hot - especially when I do that whole 80's thong over the workout pants thing 5 - average, I guess. No one ever complements it. 1 - it's a jungle down there 5. Show me your ass: "No problem, half of West Hollywood has seen it anyway" "How much will you pay me?" "Isn't my ass nice?" "Can you see it through all this hair?" "Only if you kiss it, bitch!" "Yes, master" "The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin' " "I need a dollar in my g-string first" "Hold on, it takes me forever to get these pants off." "Sniff it. It's clean." "Are you talking to me?" "Oooh, what are you going to do to it?"